Parents
Bring Your Child Prepared To Play:
Athletes should come to games and practices ready to play. This means that every player needs shin guards, uniform, shoes appropriate to field of play, have all jewelry removed, and have plenty of water. We also advise players to wear mouth guards to protect those smiles from unpredictable elbows and tumbles. Children cannot play without shin guards.
Talking to the Coach:
Getting to know your kids coach and interacting with him or her occasionally is highly recommended. We encourage our coaches to meet with parents at the beginning of the Fall season to go over coaching philosophy and expectations. Bow Soccer Club teams are competitive and geared towards improving caliber of play and competitive skills, but they are not the Olympic tryouts. Please discuss your goals for your child with the coach.
We strive to treat all children and their parents fairly. Please be aware that the coaches often see behavior that parents don't get to see. Kids may have a different rendition of an event when they talk to Mom and Dad. For example, kids may misbehave, refuse to play a position, or tell us that they don't feel well, but then tell their parents that they don't know why a coach limited their play. The end result, parents conclude the coach is not being fair to their child. Before getting upset, talk to the coach and get both sides of the story.
Above-all, please remember that while our coaches are trained and licensed, they are still volunteers who use their spare time to coach your children. Please offer them your respect and support.
I Can Help From the Sidelines, Right?
When working
with youth players, one of the most difficult things for a player to
do is play while being yelled at from the sidelines by a parent,
spectator or fan. Professional players are paid a LOT of money and
one of the "sacrifices" they make in return for this money is they
are subjected to this type of yelling from the stands on a regular
basis. However, when we are dealing with youth players, they are not
prepared to handle much of the yelling that occurs from the
sidelines and they should not be subjected to this yelling either.
It's natural for a parent to want to cheer for their son or daughter
and that is perfectly acceptable but anything more than cheering
actually can become a problem.
How many times have
you heard a spectator to "kick it" or "boot it" when in reality the
team would like to maintain possession? How many times have you
heard spectators yelling at the ref and then you notice that the
players start to do the same thing because it's what others are
doing?
It's truly a sad thing when after a game a player is crying and when
you ask them why they are crying they respond, "Because the parents
were yelling at me". I wish I could say this never happens or rarely
happens but with young players, it happens a lot more than it
should.
If you are a parent, give some thought to whether you are acting in
a positive or negative way on the sidelines. As a coach, how often
do you meet with the parents and let them know what is expected of
them on the sidelines? It's something that needs to be done early in
a season to prevent this type of thing from happening and it
becoming a problem within the team.
Parental Behavior on the Sidelines (with thanks to a coach somewhere on the Internet):
- Pants shall be worn high enough not to show your underwear at all games.
- Jewelry is allowed, but only if tasteful and does not present a danger to the person sitting next to you.
- Your eating area shall be cleaned after any post-game meal in a restaurant; food fights with the other team's parents are prohibited.
- Only those persons who get above a 90% or above on the yearly referee test may yell at the referee; only those with an IQ of less than 50 may yell at a coach.
- You do not need to genuflect in the presence of a coach; a curtsey or slight bow is all that is necessary.
- There shall be no foul language, birdcalls, peacocking, goosing or ruffling of feathers during games.
- At no time shall you make derogatory comments towards the opposition, as they may be a distant relative.
- Long balls to the opposition are not to be complimented with "oohs" and "aahs" on the length and height of the pass; however, short, precision passes that may lead to a long ball to an open teammate can be applauded.
- And last, but not least, you are mandated to have some fun this season. Everyone else will.
|
A Coach's Letter |
Dear Parents,
Here are some hints on how to make this a fun season, with lots of positive memories for your kids and your family.
1. Make sure that win or lose you love them, as the person in their life that they can always look to for support.
2. Try to be completely honest with yourself about your kids' athletic capability, their competitive attitude, their sportsmanship, and their level of skills.
3. Be helpful, but don't coach your kids on the way to the game or at the breakfast table. Think about how tough it must be on them to be constantly inundated with advice, pep talks, and criticism.
4. Teach your kids to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be out there trying, to be constantly working to improve their skills, to take physical bumps and come back for more. Don't tell them that winning doesn't count because it does, and they know it. Instead help them develop a healthy competitive attitude, a "feel" for competing, for trying hard, for having a good time.
5. Try not to live your life through your kids. You've lost as well as won. You've been frightened and backed off at times. Sure they are an extension of you but they may not feel the same way as you did, want the same things, or have the same attitude.
6. Don't push them in the direction that gives you the most satisfaction. Don't compete with your kids' coaches. A coach may become a hero to your kids for a while, someone who can do no wrong, and you may find that hard to take. Conversely, don't automatically side with your kids against their coaches. Try to help them understand the necessity for discipline, rules, and regulations.
7. Don't compare your kids with other players on their team - at least not within their hearing - don't lie to them about their capabilities as a player. If you are overly protective you will perpetuate the problem.
8. Get to know your kids' coaches. Make sure that you approve of each coach's attitude and ethics. Coaches can be influential, and you should know the values of each coach so that you can decide whether or not you want them passed on to your kids.
9. Remember that children tend to exaggerate. Temper your reaction to stories that they bring home from practice or the game about how they were praised or criticized. Don't criticize them for exaggerating, but don't overact to the stories that they tell you.
10. Teach your kids the meaning of courage. Some of us can climb mountains, but are frightened about getting into a fight. Some of us can fight without fear, but turn to jelly at the sight of a bee. Everyone is frightened about something. Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is learning to perform in spite of fear. It's overcoming it.
11. Winning is an important goal. Winning at all costs is stupidity.
12. Remember that the officials are necessary. Don't overreact to their calls. They have rules and guidelines to follow representing authority on the field. Teach your kids to respect authority and to play by the rules.
13. Finally,
remember, if the kids aren't having fun, we're missing the whole
point of youth sports.
Darrell Burnett, Ph.D.